Ways You Can Be Sensitive about Sexual Orientation and Gender

Identity to Enhance Workplace Communications*

What you can do if you if identify as straight.

• Remember that while gay, lesbian bisexual and transgender people are a community and share that they are "different" in their sexual orientation or gender identity, there are differences among individuals. Some are introverted--some extroverted; some are single- -some are coupled; some have children--some do not; some live together as a couple-- some live apart; some have had commitment ceremonies--others haven't; some are accepted and included by their families--some are excluded and rejected; some are very private people--some are very open, and so on.
• Learn definitions of words associated with the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender communities. Familiarize yourself with terminology and practice using that language so you get comfortable with it. Don't use slang in a pejorative manner to describe one's sexual orientation or gender identity.
• Make efforts to be inclusive of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender co-workers. Welcome their partners or guests when you meet them, include them in conversation.
• Expect some members of the communities to be defensive or shy due to past negative experiences or fears related to telling people about their sexual orientation or gender identity. Try to understand and not take it personally.
• Refrain from using judgmental language such as, "I just don't understand your lifestyle." Statements like this will create barriers.
• Discourage others from telling jokes about people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender and refrain from telling them yourself.
• Share equal responsibility for communication with gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender co-workers. Work together to build rapport and trust.
• Spend time with someone who is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender (doesn't have to be a co-worker) and get to know what their life is like while letting them know what your life is like.
• Attend gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender events and activities to learn more about their community. Reading is another good way to educate yourself.
• Keep in mind that some people, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity, tend to share personal information only when asked; others prefer not to be asked. Respect their individual right to privacy even when you ask a sincere question.

What you can do if you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.

• Make the personal choice whether or not to be out to your co-workers.
• Be honest about whether or not you want people to ask you questions. If you choose to tell others about your sexual orientation or gender identity, you must clearly communicate your wishes regarding confidentially. Otherwise, someone might assume it's alright to share information about your personal life that you wish they hadn't.
• Be patient, non-sarcastic and non-defensive for the sake of establishing open communication. Assume that most people are sincere about wanting to learn more about you, and about communicating with you and other gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people without being offensive. Help them to do this.
• Let others know (especially human resources and/or management if you experience discrimination, or harassment related to your sexual orientation or gender identity. Help them to address the problem and find a solution.
• Be inclusive of heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender co-workers. For instance, invite them to bring their partners or a guest to activities and events. Be aware of your own feelings about the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender communities.
• Share equal responsibility for communication with straight co--tvorker8.- Work together to build rapport and trust.
• Spend time with someone who is heterosexual (doesn't have to be a co-worker) and get to know what their life is like and let them know what your life is like.

What EVERYONE should do

• Ask individuals who are straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender what terminology they prefer when you are referring to them or talking with them. Be sensitive about words to use and not use, based on individual preferences.
• If you want to know something about one's sexual orientation, gender identity or personal life, ask them directly, rather than asking others.
• When someone shares information with you about their sexual orientation or gender identity; clarify with them whether or not this is information they, want you to keep confidential. Don't "out" people to others. If others ask you about one's sexual orientation or gender identification, consider responding with something like, "That's pretty personal; you'd have to ask her yourself," or "I've never asked him that particular question."
• Avoid making assumptions about people's sexual orientation or gender identity based on their appearance or behavior. Don't assume one's spouse or partner is of the opposite sex.