It might seem that a person's sexual orientation or gender identity has little to do with their job or career. But unfortunately, many people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender have experienced discrimination in the workplace in the form of dismissal, lack of promotion, etc., as have people from particular cultures, religions, groups, and communities.
Society and responsible employers are recognizing diversity and addressing discriminatory attitudes and behaviors that are based on misinformation or lack of information which can create fear of people who are perceived as different. Communication is vital to good business and consistent quality. People's fears and lack of knowledge, can significantly impede effective communication.
If you are a married heterosexual, it would probably never occur to you to keep that information about yourself a secret from the people with whom you work. You might wear a wedding band and refer to your spouse often enough that people know his/her first name and what he/she does. People at work might get to know them, and refer to them in conversation, or inquire about them. If your spouse, or an inlaw is ill, or dies it is likely that. your co-workers will offer you support and comfort; also workplace policy may allow you to miss work to take care of your spouse or attend the funeral of a relative on your spouse's side of the family. If you are bisexual, gay, lesbian, or transgender, you may not get the same kind of accommodations because you are not legally related to your partner or your partner's family.
Those of us who are heterosexual generally don't worry about our co-workers or supervisors knowing whether we are married, single or divorced, who our spouse or partner is, who we are living with or dating. We might even have a picture of this person on our desk at work, or have them accompany us to a company party or on a business trip.
It's not uncommon to hear conversations like this one on a Friday afternoon at work:
"What a long week. I'm so glad it's Friday! Do you have plans for the weekend?"
"Yeah, my wife and I are going up north to go cross-country skiing and hiking."
For those of us who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, a simple conversation like that one can create internal anxiety, if we do not want to disclose our sexual orientation to people with whom we work. Simple conversations can also be difficult for those of us who have gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender children, relatives, or friends. We may experience a great deal of painful anxiety when we hear hurtful jokes or discriminatory comments directed at people we love.
Why do some of us keep this important part of our lives a secret? Probably out of fear- fear of rejection from our co-workers even fear for our personal safety. We may also have internalized homophobia that keeps us from being open with others about our lives.
Based on our past experiences we know that there can be serious costs to pay if people know about our sexual orientation or gender identity. We want to be treated like everyone else at work, given a fair chance to succeed and be rewarded based on our merit, skills, talent and performance. We don't want our sexual orientation to hold us back or to interfere with how people interact with us at work.
When we are afraid this will happen, we tend to keep our personal lives a secret and live in fear of being found out. It wastes time and energy to maintain the image of a false personal life, or no personal life whatsoever. It is important that bisexual, transgender, gay or bisexual employees and our friends and family members have the freedom to share as much about our lives as heterosexual employees and their straight friends and family members with the assurance that it won't affect our job or our relationships in the workplace.
If we were all robots, none of this would matter. We would just perform our jobs without verbal interaction, and we would just shut down at the end of our shifts. But we are human being's and much of our work involves communications with other human beings in order to get a job done. The fact of the matter is that communicating with others in a professional situation involves social and personal interaction as well.
"Whenever it is necessary to engage in deception in order to keep a secret, you are engaging in a behavior that is damaging to the human heart and soul. Silence becomes shame."
*Material adapted from: 'Honeywell Pride: Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity in the Workplace'